you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I currently don't understand fingers.
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