and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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