Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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