Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
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