Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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