Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
