So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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