So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
