fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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