Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
