What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
