Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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