Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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