Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
