Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
NoShamevember. You game?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
