But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
