barbara walters just said penis...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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