I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
