Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
