Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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