I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
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