tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
