Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
