Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
