OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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