I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
