im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
