tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
