i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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