i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I think weed is turning my hair brown
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
