which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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