As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
They have beer where we have blood.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
