he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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