my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
