Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
