I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
