we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
