I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
