He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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