I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
