I hate all girls vehemently.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Randomize
