apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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