season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
