my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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