worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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