She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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