I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
