The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
