I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
