Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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