i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
