yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So vagazzling was a success
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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