Non-Jews are for practice
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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